I’m not an emotional Christian. While there are a few songs that might bring me to tears in a worship service, I’d rather experience such intimacy in a private moment. When I observe a friend—in the terminology of modern Christianese—getting her worship on, I consider she must be more spiritual than me, more attuned to God. An all-around better Christian. Then I chuckle under my breath. She’s not that good of a Christian. Of course, neither am I, or my eyes wouldn’t wander during worship and I wouldn’t judge my extroverted friend.
A while back, I quit worrying that I’d ever be able to
change from introvert to extrovert. I decided I was okay reading in the far
corner of the room while others engaged in conversation. God knew when He made
me how I’d turn out. Then he married me off to an extrovert and provided a good
balance.
My propensity for quiet retreat gives me insight perhaps
unknown to the overt worshiper. But still, I wonder sometimes if I’m missing out.
The closer we get to the return of Christ, the more I sense my natural disposition
bubbling near the edge of the supernatural.
In the past, when I considered the return of our Lord to
gather His Church, I would often gaze upward to the clear blue sky. I’d breathe
in God’s wonder. And I’d think, no, not yet. And God would ease my mind into a
holding pattern. Not so any longer.
Maybe it’s because I’m older. Or because the world is
getting nuttier. Or because, while I’m not always demonstrative, I do feel
things, and I feel that my Deliverer is coming. I no longer view the pleasant
sky as a sign. I sometimes hold my breath to listen for His call. But I’m not
afraid. It might seem to others that I’m unenthusiastic. But that’s just me. Without
spectacle, void of anxiety, I await the soon-coming King.
I’m glad for the whooping from my brothers and sisters. I’m
happy for their raucous verbal acknowledgement of King Jesus. Their cries echo
in the hushed well of my soul.
Holy, holy,
holy is the Lord God Almighty.
You
are holy, Lord. Holy.
There’s an art to crying holy. Like the painter’s stroke,
the poet’s verse, the singer’s refrain, or the musician’s skill, the cry erupts
from deep inside. Like the builder’s monument or the engineer’s design, it carries
great benefit for the whole community. The art of one is unlike the art of all
the rest, and yet it arises in the same Spirit. It’s original. It’s true. It’s beautiful. And God delights in it.
When I'm standing before the Throne, I might join the celebration with a loud voice. If
it happens that way, I won’t fret. How could I resist in the presence of my Savior? Or perhaps there will be an introvert section in the choir, where I can
blend in. But I doubt we’ll remain quiet for long. Our cry of holy, holy, holy will
surely resonate in glorious tribute to fill Heaven.
After such personal revelation, can I remain still and
subdued in the here and now? Sure I can, and I won’t fret over that either. But the day is closer, the art more devoted, and
maybe I’m crying holy just a little bit louder.
